Yesterday in my talk to my parents I just let my imagination fly, I just closed my eyes and tried to in-merge completely in only what I was hearing. At the beginning of the conversation I just started by asking them what it was going on, how was their day, what was new, how were they. After each time they spoke and I tried to answer something, I felt I was paraphrasing in my mind, I was remembering what they had just said, reduce it to a simple idea to which I could give a response or an answer, and talk back by giving a response.
I found out that by being more into the words other people say and getting the key terms they are telling you, it can give you the key items you must know to give an intelligent answer. By getting rid of the body language, you can get a more accurate sense of hearing, and by being focused you can get the main idea the other person is trying to communicate to you. I also learn that to start a good conversation, you just ask a question, find out on the others day, or the others life, this is also a good way for hearing and listening, which is ideal to carry a good conversation. It is really important to be focused.
On the other hand, I could carry a long conversation which most of the time is too difficult to do. I found out that you can throw spontaneous questions that may or may not relate to the last topic of conversation you were talking about so that the conversation doesn't end. I also let my imagination roll over, while I was hearing I just got the key words, which my own brain and my imagination processed and it recreate it spontaneously with images in my head, to have a visual also of what they were talking to me about. I also let the conversation flow by giving each of the both sides the time to talk and to answer and not only to talk by myself, and don't let the other talk, just hear, in my opinion this couldn't be called conversation, because for it a alternating listener and speaker must exist.
Although I do a good listening and conversation, I know that I need to improve to talk and too listen to strangers, how to start conversation, which its a important thing in your life when you are talking to a recruiter or you are being part of an interview. Also I do use two of the four ways of listening that exist. Asking to tell stories and paraphrasing is part of my daily listening although sometimes it is difficult for me to carry a conversation. In conclusion I think that by improving a little bit more the last two, and making the mirror to confirm feelings and the Prime to my daily listening, I know I could get to be a great listener, which also carries to be a good speaker.
Hey Jon This is BO!
ResponderEliminarHmm I guess maybe your choice of listener isn't that good since they are your parents and you know them very well so you might omit some parts of what they say.
My point of view is that, listening is not just hearing. It is the message the other person is trying to convey. How people phrase their sentences have a meaning. For example, Thomas Jefferson used the word "pursuit of happiness" in our constituency, instead of just "happiness". He is trying to say that we have to work towards our dream, not just wait for the government to provide for us.
Similarly, when we listen, we have our own interpretation, and that's when EQ comes into play - when we decide on how that will affect our choices we are going to make as well as the societies choices that could be made.
EQ is a big thing. Listening alone doesn't guarantee a person's EQ. There are aspects like controlling our emotions and choosing the 'right' choices. When we get a scolding, do we fight back and argue with the person, or do we try to understand why the speaker is trying to say, how to improve ourselves to make us a better person?
Yeap that's it
thanks!
I agree that conversation is a two way traffic. You got to listen and you got to speak. However, I think the purpose of this assignment is for us to practice our listening skills. It's also about the idea that the world doesn't revolve around 'me'. Learn to take a step back and allow others a chance to share. Hence, we are put in a position where we are more of a listener and less of a speaker.
ResponderEliminarI disagree that the lack of body language in communication is good. Yes, perhaps you can concentrate on the words and tones more. But there are crucial signs that you may have missed out. At the end of the day, effective communication is about getting the message across. And there are things that can be better expressed or understood if coupled with body language. Body language may also for example give telltale signs that the speaker is not very comfortable with the topic, which would be good for listeners to pick up and perhaps move on to another topic.
I like that you brought up the point about communicating with a stranger. I myself find it easier to listen to then to speak to a stranger. For me, I think it's because of the lack of commonality and the fear of saying the wrong things.
Good Job!